Fours can begin to feel socially inept and overshadowed by the charm and popularity of Twos. Fours might begin to be secretly envious of the Twos social abilities and the kinds of positive reactions Twos generally get from people. They can see the Two's helpfulness as little more than an attempt to bribe people for love, which Fours disdain. Fours see Twos as secretly emotionally needy, desperate for others to like them and seek them out. Fours tend to find Twos to be too saccharine and artificially upbeat, flattering and insincere to get close to people and to feel needed. They also see Fours as hypersensitive and self-absorbed-and not interested enough in others or their welfare. Moreover, Twos tend to find Fours too moody and temperamental, led too much by their feelings and unconscious impulses. Over the long term, there is the tendency to become competitive for attention or for one person to feel better liked and more appreciated than the other. They both need closeness and intimacy and tend to cling to anyone who responds to them sufficiently. Twos and Fours tend to have many emotional issues in common-which allows them to understand each other readily while also laying the groundwork for potential problems and conflicts. The problem is that there can be too much emotionality and unspoken demands in this pairing for their own good. One would think that they would be a natural fit with each other: the rescuer (Two) and the rescued (Four), the lost child and the parental figure. Surprisingly, this pairing is rare in intimate relationships. Usually Twos and Fours make better friends and colleagues than intimates. Both help the other to stop being so concerned about what others think of them and to become more inner-directed. Each invites the other to mature emotionally, usually without saying so. They can lighten up each other with unexpected humor and appreciation of each others' quirks. Twos appreciate the subtleties and nuances that Fours bring, and Fours thrive in this atmosphere of appreciation. In short, Fours invite Twos to take a closer look at their deeper needs, the truth of who they are and what they actually feel. Fours also bring emotional depth and sensitivity to their relationships, a sense of mystery and unpredictability, sensuality and sexual freedom. Fours also bring a sense of beauty and of subtlety into the relationship: they care about how things impact on themselves and others, and so they go out of their way to arrange their world to be more aesthetically pleasing, allowing the Two to feel more relaxed and nurtured. They see their own craziness and their own falseness and they do not try to varnish the truth of their quirks from themselves or from the Two. To this mix, Fours bring creativity, a sense of humor, a willingness to laugh at human foibles, and emotional honesty. Twos are also practical and action-oriented, willing to pitch in where needed and to do the things that need to be done, no matter how unpleasant or unglamorous. Twos are warm, outgoing, thoughtful and considerate, generous, and encouraging. They can be good medicine for each other: Twos contribute sociability and energy, giving Fours the confidence to interact more easily with others. Hence, once they have gotten over the initial hurdles of intimacy, Enneagram Twos and Fours can be a safe place for each to share their hopes, fears, and insecurities. Both are seeking warmth and connection, and both are willing to provide it when they are healthy. This can be a very warm, even passionate, couple when both parties continue to share their feelings openly together. What Each Type Brings to the Relationship
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